Creative Writing Matrix

Absurd Warnings

Society is becoming panicked about a lot of everyday objects. cell phones, microwaves, facebook, social media, takeaways, animals etc.
Select 5-10 objects.
For each object, write an absurd warning label that could be placed on the object when it is sold.
Example:
Sunglasses- Warning. Use of this object can result in a reduction in social status due to irregular tan lines across the eyes and face. User discretion is advised.

Pens- Warning using a pen might make you look modern as today's society only uses phones to write stuff down.

Bags- Watch out as some uses of this bag has too many pockets.

Earphones- Warning these earphones may contain white on the outer cord.

Cellphones- Watch out as some phones aren't to the social standard for citizens around you.

Bread- Warning as this type of bread has little seeds in it what may make you  look at it differently